Warning: hungry, vicious dog. Recommended speed limit: 100 mph.
When Matt and I moved up north for the summer I was afraid that bears or some animal that resembles a bear would maul and eat me. I’ve realized that this probably won’t happen. Not because a bear wouldn’t eat me or because I wouldn’t be dumb enough to do something to piss a bear off, but because I will likely be mauled and eaten by vicious stray dogs first.
On an average day when I leave the relative safety of our duplex/house/abode, I see at least one dog. Now, I know that you’re thinking, so what? A dog. Big deal. Everyone sees dogs. They’re everywhere, which is true. However, the dogs I see here are stray dogs or at least dogs that are allowed to wander around and do what they like. We live fairly close to the Ojibwe reservation of Lac Courte Oreilles, and they don’t have a leash law. Random wandering large dogs are a bit of a problem there. Then they wander down the highway or through the woods and end up in my general vicinity.
Why do I think these dogs are vicious? Well, I don’t think they’re all vicious, I just think that they all have the capacity to kill me if they choose to do so. Dogs that ruthlessly guard a trash can and growl when you come near are not friendly. Dogs that stare at you as you walk down the street could or could not be friendly. The difference between dogs and bears is that bears are afraid of people. They’re not used to us; we scare them. Dogs, however, view us as providers of food, whether that be in a doggy dish or my flesh. You know, whichever is more convenient at the time.
Thus, any dog I see nowadays that doesn’t have a person attached (with a leash, not in its teeth) is viewed with a wary eye by me. If the dog is eating a person, then I view it with more than a wary eye. Probably I would view it with a panicked eye–I won’t know for sure until I actually wander upon this situation. Let’s hope I don’t. This would be a lot easier if dogs had signs that told us if they had rabies or a severe disliking of humans. And when I say sign, I mean a sign like those digital construction road signs that warns of delays. That way I could see the sign in the dark.
And you know, while we’re developing these dog signs, let’s just make them for every animal and every person. That way I would know what and who I should avoid. I love the conveniences of modern times.