And etc…

I finally saw Star Wars: Episode 3. Because we waited so long (well, it wasn’t really that long–a month, maybe?) it was no longer showing in any Hayward theaters. Hence, Matt and I drove to Rice Lake, Wisconsin, the closest theater showing it.

It was quite an adventure getting to the theater. Google Maps is clearly still in its beta version, since it has no idea where the movie theater in Rice Lake is. It maps it (with the correct address) as being out in the middle of nowhere. We were in the middle of nowhere–it wasn’t there. Mapquest decided that the theater was in the middle of Rice Lake. And when I say that, I mean in the actual middle of the lake. Mapquest’s obvious lack of mapping ability is why we went with the Google Maps’ directions in the first place. Anyway, to make a long (and I mean long) story short, the lady at the BP knew where the theater was. Thank goodness I married one of the only men in the world who realizes that it’s a good idea to ask for directions, especially because Rice Lake is not that interesting of a town.

Once we got to the theater (just in time, I might add) we were given special Father’s Day “Who’s your daddy?” posters with Darth Vader on them. Five minutes later, when I stopped laughing, we went into the theater to discover we were the only ones there.

We then proceeded to talk throughout the movie. Well, not during the whole thing, just during the stupid or requiring background knowledge parts. Evidently there were quite a few of those. However, to show how much of a dork I am, I refused to do anything “romantic” even though we were in the theater by ourselves. I figure that’s the sort of thing you do at bad movies, like anything with Adam Sandler and/or possibly Jim Carrey in it. It would’ve been somewhat sacrireligious to make out during Star Wars–I might miss something important. I am a geek. However, since I’m a woman, I guess that negates the geek thing somewhat.

Overall, I thought that the movie was decent. Natalie Portman had some not-so-great lines, but that’s ok. I actually laughed when she told Anakin he was breaking her heart. The way I see it, Anakin just showed her how much he loved her by becoming evil for her. Why can’t she reciprocate? Of course, this would mean that she would have to become ugly since in the Star Wars universe all evil people are ugly.

Palpatine: at first just not attractive, and then totally hideous.
Anakin: eventually ugly (actually, always a little).
Grievous something-or-another, the part bug/part droid guy: quite ugly.
Count Dorko, oops, I mean Dooku: well, just stupid-looking. Close enough.
That sith apprentice from Episode 1 with the black and red face: not visually appealing, however symmetrical he was.
All of the people who eventually work for the empire: not so attractive (why do you think they’re wearing the stormtrooper outfits? Because of the clone wars thing? No, to cover up unattractiveness).
The ewoks: cute and deadly and NOT EVIL. I love when I can incorporate ewoks into making a point.

So yes, perhaps Padme was so inherently vain that she did not love Anakin enough to become evil and thus ugly. Or I suppose it could’ve been something uppity like morals or ethics that held her back. Apparently, however sappy she is, she never heard the phrase “love conquers all.” Maybe if she had she would’ve realized that once she ruled the empire she could make it BACK INTO A REPUBLIC. Hello, absolute power? Clearly she didn’t really think the situation through. Anakin would’ve agreed; he’s pretty impressionable and not so bright. Once they killed Palpatine it would have been pretty easy to turn things around, if she really wanted to. She’s not exactly a tactical genius. You would think a politician would understand the concept of influence.

Also, I understand that the saga takes place in a galaxy far, far away, but whenever Obi-Wan/Ewan McGregor said “younglings,” I cringed. In normal people land we call them children. It makes them sound less like animals. Note that I did not call them kids. That would make them goats.

So it’s nice to see that Darth Vader had actual reasons to become evil. It certainly makes me like him more, although I was always something of a fan. He is an icon, after all. Nothing like an imposing costume to make you more of a monster/symbol than a human. Just like Batman. Batman and Darth Vader are very much alike, except Batman has more limbs. And there is the whole good vs. evil thing, but that’s relative.