Earth Day irony.
So yesterday was Earth Day. Happy Earth Day…um…Earth. I’m often confused about this day. Is Earth Day the Earth’s birthday? Try to say that really fast. Really. It’s fun. Or is it just the day we all say “yay earth. thanks for not totally being engulfed in global warming yet!” and then watch tv? I’ll be sitting here for a few days wrestling with that question.
Moving on, yesterday was Earth Day. Yes, I know I said that already. I had a cultural experience related to Earth Day on Earth Day. I went to the dump. For the first time ever. And it was scary.
First, why were we at the dump? Well, our landlord paid us to get rid of some stuff. And it was huge, like a few clothesline poles and a bunch of bricks and a big chair, you know, stuff you keep in a pile behind your garage and don’t touch because tons of spiders have made their habitats in there. Well, she wanted to get rid of it and I’ll do a lot of things for money. So we took it to the dump. Hence, why I was at the dump.
I was actually impressed by all the recycling there. We recycled all the metal stuff. Then we had to drive to the actual part where you dump things. That place was infested with seagulls. Seriously. An ocean of white-gray things that move around and may dive-bomb you. It was scary. It’s a good thing I don’t have a bird phobia. Although now I sorta do. I’m very surprised I was not pooped on. It could be that I was moving very quickly and poop just missed me.
And did you know the dump smells bad? Of course you know. Duh. Just throwing in some common knowledge to spice things up. So anyway, I celebrated Mother Earth by feeding her some miscellaneous stuff, which I can only hope will degrade so she doesn’t get a stomach ache and blow us up through the magic of global warming. Or a volcano in Utah.