And etc…

I have a confession to make. I…sometimes I…watch The View. Yes, I’m watching it right now. And it’s the only television show I watch that even pretends to talk about current events. Hence, I get much of my current event information from this show. Well, and the internet. So my sources of information have questionable reliability. However, at least as an academic/scholar/perpetual student/elitist idealist I am aware of this fact. That helps, right?

In other news, I have a new theory for how I’m going to manage to graduate: I have to be incredibly cute and adorable, so much that my occasional shortcomings can be very easily overlooked. (Yes, this plan does seem easier than just working harder. Because working harder doesn’t always work, and you would know this if you were in grad school. Quit asking these questions now, silly! Also I have a rigorous schedule of prime-time television that I have to adhere to, for if I don’t watch, all these poor actors might be out of jobs. And I don’t want to be responsible for that. And yes, I’m aware of my penchant for long parenthetical statements that only have a loose relationship with my actual point.) Anyway, right now I’m working on an aura of innocence, which is integral to this plan. So I’m looking for a puppy to carry around all the time. When this puppy becomes too old to be cute in a puppy way, I will give it to orphans and replace it with a new puppy. Or I’ll give it back to whoever I borrowed the puppy from, since I’m against forcefully taking puppies from people. It’s one of my major political stances that goes with my liberal bleeding heart tendencies. Any suggestions for adding to this aura of innocence? As an elite idealist, I see no reason this plan will not work. Oh, except for the fact that I’m admitting to this nefarious plan in a public forum. It’s a good thing I only have maybe three readers. I know this because my husband doesn’t even read this blog. I could be saying anything right now and I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t matter. Good times.