The real notorious types always have middle names in the headlines…
You know how you have a legal responsibility to name your child at some point in their lives, generally before they become aware that they probably strongly dislike you? Yeah, I’m agonizing over that legal responsibility. Is it wrong to name a kid after yourself? Now, I don’t mean completely–Amanda Jr. is just too weird, even for me. And I’d get confused. I’m wondering if it’s wrong to give a kid your first name as a middle name. Seems like they might someday resent not having their own name, though, as Matt points out, they still have a first name.
I think I have this problem because I view the middle name as a second chance name. If the kid hates the first name, they still have the middle name to go by. But they don’t really have that option if their mother’s name is the exact same. That just becomes creepy, especially when you’re introducing yourself to guys at a bar or something. Though, I suppose it would promote non-dating activities… But that wouldn’t help with the “trying not to scar her for life” thing. (Which I will inevitably do, but I was hoping to do it better. And have more fun with it.)
Anyway, this is a dilemma. At least to me. Matt says that as long as you don’t turn out to be a real loser parent it’s fine. (I can probably at least achieve mediocrity on that score.) This reasoning made me wonder, “what if the kid turns out to be a serial killer and I resent that I gave the kid my name?” Especially if the kid starts using my name for this life of crime. And I end up somehow mistakenly arrested. Or at least forever associated with it. The big evil people tend to have their full names drafted into the headlines, you know. Like John Wilkes Booth. Who is the only example I can come up with at the moment, which hopefully does not invalidate my point.
Ok, so the serial killer thing is unlikely–she may be emotionally or mentally-unbalanced, but who isn’t? A lot of people are telling me that she’s my kid, so I get to name her what I want. Which sort of makes me feel like naming her after myself is like bestowing my property rights of ownership upon her. And I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. I don’t want to “disown” her (at least not yet), but ownership is sort of like slavery. Though, childhood is sort of like slavery, without all the brutality, but with some of the angst. And a lot of singing.
So, five people who read this blog, what should I do? Is it just lazy to give a kid your name as a middle name? Does it lack creativity? Or does it show that you think the kid won’t embarrass you, so it’s a stamp of pride? And, if that’s true, how come I wasn’t named after anyone? Hmmm, Mother?
or maybe you’re just over-analyzing it. She’ll probably be like me an not even realize she has a middle name until she’s like seven years old. No one really likes their middle name anyway so if she hates it, well, you don’t have to take it personally. You could tell her I told you to give her that name and then you’re off the hook.
you would have freeked
I disagree with above commenter. I love my middle name and I always pitied kids who didn’t have middle names (losers). Conveniently (on purpose) my middle name is also my mom’s middle name. So she named me after her without actually giving me her first name.
Also I love so many factors of this blog and the ways you’re already planning to scar her and then worrying she’ll be a serial killer. Good work Amanda. Good work.
Your point was valid on the three names, ie Lee Harvey Oswald. As for the rest of my opinions I should keep them to myself since you were only ever nice to me in private, in front of other people you were vicious, and this probably counts as being in front of other people. But, speaking from experience, I share a middle name with my father’s first name, and in fact, I share my full name with that of my great great grandfather (I wasn’t named after him, but Michael David really isn’t an uncommon combination) so I could go around calling myself MDW the 2nd if I desired. I don’t think I turned out too screwed up. Of course, I like to use my initials of M.D. so people think I’m actually a doctor. You could just name your kid “Doctor” and save them a lot of hassle, they could jump right into the working world with no education that way. The nice thing about Amanda as a middle name is if they hate their first name, they can adapt Amanda and be an Andie or Mandy or something like that. Unless you have a boy, then I’m totally against using Amanda as a middle name, or he MIGHT grow up to be a killer…
I’m personally fond of Miranda Vera Cruz de la Hoya Cardenal Metz-Bemer.
A close second is Mandy Matty Metz-Bemer.
Name matters little. Whatever you choose everyone will refer to her as Amanda’s Li’l Disciple in a sort of Master-Apprentice Sith sort of way.
The most important aspect of the middle name is if it sounds appropriately threatening when used with the first and last name. This way, the kid will know FOR SURE when she is in trouble. I gave my dogs middle names for this purpose. Seems to work. Make sure her first name isn’t too frilly. It’s hard to sound stern when shouting a name like Butterfly or Springtime (my apologies to all those hippie kids out there).
Crap. I had plans to cover this same topic next week. Now what am I supposed to write about?
I don’t think I know many who have thier mothers name, second or otherwise. It would seem odd to me to do that. I know many with thier Grandma’s or other such note to thier past generation, there is something about the idea of giving a child my own name that would feel horribly arogant, i couldent do it.