And etc…

Hey, look. This is me, writing something that is not my dissertation. Don’t tell. I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to be doing this right now…I need to save up all my sentences for that super long thing. Ah crap. Baby just woke up. Why does she have to do that so much?

……….

Cut to three days later: She’s asleep again. She has, of course, fallen asleep at other times in the last few days, but never when I’m not mostly just too dead from trying to get her to fall asleep to do anything else. So at this moment I’m going to write some more I guess. I forget what my point was going to be with this entire blog entry, so I’m just not going to bother having one. Note to any writing students out there: this is not actually a successful writing strategy. Do not engage in this type of writing. Especially if you’re in my class. Please.

You know what the weirdest thing about having a child is? You don’t finish much. I don’t care what it is we’re talking about. Watching a television show or movie? Not going to see all of it. Eating? Why bother? (Note: not actually a good diet plan, by the way.) Research? If you’re me, if you can’t focus on something for more than five minutes at a time, it’s useless to try to do it. When I get distracted, I forget everything. EVERYTHING. This is very similar to the way I focus so intensely when I’m reading something that I don’t notice anything else. I believe this may be a failure to multitask. I know we’re supposed to be all about the multitasking these days, but frankly, I suck at this. I cannot do it. I don’t even talk on the phone while driving (though I don’t think I should be saying that that’s a bad thing, necessarily). I can’t walk and text at the same time. Well, I technically CAN, I just can’t do it well. Anyway, so the point here is that I need an extended, uninterrupted period of time in which to accomplish anything, and my life no longer has these times. However, contrary to this, I am finishing my dissertation somehow. It could be that I’ve decided it no longer needs to make sense. Maybe I’ll make up something about how it’s “hypertextual in its ability to jump from one idea to the next without transitions.” That sounds pretty technologic. Maybe someone will even buy it…If not, I still have my bring puppies to the defense approach.

And now Baby is awakening. Gotta go.

Note to expectant mothers out there: Don’t get too depressed. I still make time to watch TV. I just make Baby watch it with me. Of course, some people say that’s not a good thing. But I prefer to think I’m teaching the child about culture. Also, the soap operas teach her how not to get blackmailed and stuff. Good info to know.

Note to anyone who wants to comment on my ability to be a mother: shove it.